Let’s get this outta the way: I was dumped at a high-kill shelter in Texas ‘cause I wasn’t eating. Turns out, I had pneumonia — hello, maybe ask me if I’m okay before ghostin’ me like that? Anyway, NorthStar swooped in like the heroes they are, got me fixed up, and now I’m living my best Golden Girl life. Sure, my liver needs a little help — I’m on meds and a low-fat diet, but listen, you hit 15 and tell me you don’t have a pill organizer. I’ve earned my bumps, my quirks, and the right to bark at any hyper dogs who need to simmer down. Respect your elders, kids.

Cats? Meh. They’re cool. I don’t bother ‘em. Dogs? I’ll chill with ‘em, as long as they’re not doing laps around the living room. Humans? That’s my jam. You got a lap? I’m in it. You leaving the room? I’m behind you like a loyal little shadow that doesn’t trip you. I’m clingy in a low-key, ride-or-die kind of way.

I’m house-trained, I strut on short walks, and I ride shotgun like a pro. You wanna hit the drive-thru or pick up groceries? I’ll be your tiny co-pilot. I may be in Texas now, but say the word and I’ll be in Jersey faster than you can say “Taylor Ham.” If you’re lookin’ for a loyal, low-maintenance lady who just wants to love and be loved (and maybe steal your blanket), fill out that application at www.northstarpets.org and ask for Zulu TX. Let’s grow old together — I’ve got the old part covered, you bring the snacks.